Funny Wedding Quotes

You’ve got a distinctive style! Share your flair with a unique wedding quote that speaks to the tone and expresses your personality.

Marriage is no laughing matter! Or is it? E.E. Cummings said, “The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.” We agree. Humor is beneficial on so many levels—​especially in marriage.

Laughter is Good Medicine
From a good hearty laugh to giggling under your breath, researchers know that laughter is a pain reducer, stress reliever and even increases endorphins and dopamine.

Be inspired to raise the roof on those endorphins!

Where To Include Your Quote

Location. Location. Location. Place your funny quotes, sayings, proverbs and pairings where they are most likely to be seen. From signage that reads “Here Comes Your Girl” to “Last Chance To Run!” to a hilarious proverb in your Programs, you’ll have your guests rolling down the aisle with smiles and laughter.

Funny Love Quotes

From silly to sarcastic, pair your sense of humor with a quote that tells it like it is. There’s nothing like comedy to draw people together. Some likely places to share your wit include your Wedding Invitations, Programs, and DIY signs around the ceremony and reception.

A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake.
- Elizabeth Gilbert

To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you’re right, shut up.
- Ogden Nash

The problem with marriage is that it ends every night after making love, and it must be rebuilt every morning before breakfast.
-Gabriel García Márquez

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Marriage is getting to have a sleep over with your best friend, every single night of the week.
- Christie Cook

Funny Wedding Quote: Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll give it back.
Can I borrow a kiss?
I promise I’ll give it back.

Never, under any circumstances, should you argue with a spouse who is currently packing your parachute!!!
- Unknown

My husband and I have never considered divorce ... murder sometimes, but never divorce.
- Dr. Joyce Brothers

The most important four words for a successful marriage: “I’ll do the dishes.”
- Anonymous

It is sometimes essential for a husband and a wife to quarrel—​they get to know each other better.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

I promise not to keep score, even if I am totally winning.
- Unknown

Funny Wedding Quote: Love more, worry less.
Love more, worry less.

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Funny Love Sayings

Share an amusing axiom or a clever adage on your Save the Dates, Invites and wedding signs. Get inspired to create some fun and set a jovial tone for the day. From the beverage area to the guest book table, there should your funny saying live.

Marriage is not just spiritual communion; it is also remembering to take out the trash.
- Dr. Joyce Brothers

I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now update your Facebook status.

We weren’t sure about this until we read about all the tax breaks.

I’m yours 100%! All sales final!

The vows are done. Now let’s have some fun!

Funny Wedding Quote: I like your last name ... can I have it?
I like your last name ... can I have it?

Now that we’re together, sit wherever.

KEEP CALM wedding is coming

Today we’re kind of a big deal!

Two less fish in the sea

Funny Wedding Quote: I vow to always love you even during football season.
I vow to always love you even during football season.

Funny Readings

Part serious. Part hilarious! What better way to share your light hearted personalities than with readings that make everybody smile and laugh. Marriage is serious—​but it’s fun, too! From a gentle chuckle to an uproarious side splitting laugh, be inspired to let your inner comedian out.

Let me put it this way: if you came to lay your sleeping head against my arm or sleeve, and if my arm went dead, or if I had to take my leave at midnight, I should rather cleave it from the joint or seam than make a scene or bring you round. There, how does that sound?
- Simon Armitage

You don’t marry one person; you marry three: the person you think they are, the person they are, and the person they are going to become as a result of being married to you.
- Richard Needham

The first to apologize is the bravest. The first to forgive is the strongest. The first to forget is the happiest.
- Unknown

Let the wife make the husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave.
- Martin Luther

Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Funny Wedding Quote: I’m so glad I’m me and you’re you and we’re we.
I’m so glad I’m me and you’re you and we’re we.

Looking for something more contemporary? Get Modern Readings

Funny Proverbs

Everybody loves proverbs! These little truisms can be the perfect anecdote in an inconspicuous spot. From your wedding website to your Wedding Invitations a little proverb goes a long way!

May joy and peace surround you, contentment latch your door. And happiness be with you now—​and bless you evermore.
- Irish Proverb

May your pockets be heavy and your heart be light. May good luck pursue you each morning and night.
- Irish Proverb

A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short.
- Andre Maurois

May love and laughter light your days, and warm your heart and home.
- Irish Proverb

Funny Wedding Quote: Wouldn’t it be the perfect crime if I stole your heart, and you stole mine?
Wouldn’t it be the perfect crime if I stole your heart, and you stole mine?

Funny Wedding Quote: Donut ever let me go.
You’re one in a Melon

Funny Wedding Quote: Donut ever let me go.
I think you are suffering from a lack of vitamin ME.

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Funny Pairings

Like peanut butter and chocolate, a sweet pairing is a dynamic duo that will put a smile on the face of most. Pairings like these are perfect for DIY wedding signs.

You are the cheese to my macaroni

You are the horizon to my sky

You are the bacon to my eggs

You are the laces to my sneakers

You are the jelly to my peanut butter

You are the smile to my face

You are the gravy to my mashed potatoes

You are the bubble to my bath

You are the ink to my pen

You are the lead to my pencil

You are the ketchup to my french fries

You are the water to my ocean

You are the icing to my cake

You are the colors to my rainbow

Funny Wedding Quote: We go together like pancakes & syrup!
We go together like pancakes & syrup!

Funny Wedding Quote: Like salt & pepper, we belong together.
Like salt & pepper, we belong together.

Funny Wedding Quote: You are the mac to my cheese.
You are the mac to my cheese.

Funny Wedding Quote: You’re the milk to my cookies.
You’re the milk to my cookies.

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Love & Marriage from Kids

Love will find you, even if you are trying to hid from it. I been trying to hide from it since I was five, but the girls keep finding me.
- Dave, age 8

I think you’re supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it isn't supposed to be so painful.
- Manuel, age 8

It isn’t always how you look. Look at me. I’m handsome like anything, and I haven’t got anybody to marry me yet.
- Brian, age 7

When a person gets kissed for the first time, they fall down, and they don’t get up for at least an hour.
- Wendy, age 8

Don’t forget your wife’s name. That will mess up the love.
- Erin, age 8

Funny Wedding Quote: Love & Marriage out of the mouths of Children.
Love & Marriage out of the mouths of Children.

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Funny Wedding Quote: You are greater than everyone else.
You are greater than everyone else.

Funny Wedding Quote: You + Me = Us
You + Me = Us

Funny Wedding Quote: Donut ever let me go.
Donut ever let me go.

Funny Wedding Quote: Things I want: 1. You 2. (nothing else)
Things I want:
1. You
2. (nothing else)

You start a dance party in my heart
You start a dance party in my heart

you fog my spectacles
you fog my spectacles.

Traditional Wedding Quotes

Wedding Quotes

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Modern Wedding Quotes

Wedding Quotes

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Unique Wedding Quotes

Wedding Quotes

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